Divorce

Over the past couple of years, I have started to see some of my friends get divorced. Divorce is nothing new in my life. My Mom and Dad divorced when I was four years old. My brother divorced...probably 20 years ago. I'm all too familiar with the ramifications of both staying together for the wrong reasons and finally divorcing for the right reasons.

None of my friends/family members took the decision lightly. In fact many of them spent years being unhappy together for their kids sake before making the decision. I don't think I agree with staying together "just for the kids"...although I completely understand it.

The dynamic of a divorced family is difficult at the best of times. There are few exceptions, of course, when a divorce is so amicable that the family unit stays a unit in some sense. The adults are able to see the bigger picture and act in a way that is advantageous to the children. I have so much respect for people who can rise above their bitterness and act in the best interest of their children. It took my parents 10 years to get to that place.

It has been for many years now that my parents act friendly towards one and other. We can all have a sit down meal together and everyone is friendly. On a good day, they'll even reminisce about the "good ole days" and talk about how amazing their grandchildren are. Those days are very special. It makes me sad that my kids will never know their grandparents as a unit. They are Grampa and Nana, separately, but that doesn't bother my kids any.

I am so grateful to have parents who love me and love my kids more than I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful for parents who will come together for grandkids birthdays, graduations, weddings and celebrations and there are no harsh words or angry stares. There is just love. Maybe not for each other, but for their shared loved ones.

All of that said, I have many examples in my life of couples that should have never, ever stayed together. I don't believe that people should stay together if they are miserable. Marriage is hard. Marriage takes work and the desire to make it work. In this day and age, although expensive, divorce is way too easy and often taken too lightly. We are raising today's generation to think that marriage isn't forever, it's just for now. We are raising them in a time where a divorce can be granted by a few simple clicks of the mouse. Marriage is supposed to mean more than that.

So to all my family and friends getting divorced in 2014; I think you are very brave. This was not an easy choice, but I know you have tried to make things work, in some cases for a very long time. You deserve happiness.

Much love.