Tuesday's Rant

I would never say that I am perfect, but I can honestly tell you that I actively try to be a good person. I am honest, caring, thoughtful, smart on occasion, considerate...I am what I think everyone SHOULD be...and often aren't. But my questions for you is, am I expecting too much of people? Am I TOO nice?

Don't get me wrong, I have another side too...but don't we all? My extreme honesty is either what you love or what you hate about me. Some people can't handle the truth. I am a people pleaser, to a fault, but it's only because I like to see people happy. Is there something so wrong with that?

I organize a Christmas shopping event for children. All items are donated and set up like a shop where kids can buy gifts for their families at very minimal cost. All proceeds go to a local charity that helps children, whose families couldn't otherwise afford it, participate in sports and various other activities. Out of a few hundred families, there are a very few number of people who present problems for this event. The problems tend to be issues of greediness and feelings of entitlement. I really struggle with this. I organize this wonderful event entirely by myself, so when issues arise, I find them that much harder to swallow. I am doing this out of the kindness of my heart, but people will always find something to complain about. There will always be those few people who ruin it for everyone else.

Someone reminded me tonight that out of 300 smiling faces, only maybe 4 or 5 had anything remotely negative to say...but why are the negative comments the ones that stay with you? By letting these people get to me the way they do I've let them win. I've let them ruin my evening and my time is far too precious. Life is too short for negative people.

Thanks, Mom, for venting with me for an hour tonight. Amazing how at 32 years of age there is no better remedy than a good chat with my Mom or Dad. xo

Night, all!

I love my kids more than everything else!

I love my kids more than absolutely anything. Last night I was reminded just exactly how deeply that impacts on my everything.

A month and a half ago, my husband took a teaching job out of province. I stayed behind with my three kids to sell our house. It has taken much longer than we expected to get things in order. It is a buyer's market to the extreme right now and things just aren't moving. So, my husband comes home when he can, but not nearly as much as we'd like. He doesn't have a car there, so he can only come when he can catch a ride with someone. My kids have been really great about it...until yesterday.

After an incredible family weekend, we drove my husband to meet up with his ride back to where he's currently working. We all said our good-byes and as I started to pull away, I could hear my son sniffling. He's 7 years old and thinks he's tough as nails, so I knew this was serious. I immediately pulled over and asked him what was wrong. "I miss Daddy already, Mommy." This one small sentence broke my heart in two. It was quickly followed with a, "I wish we could keep Daddy here forever" from my 5 year old daughter. Cue the tears. So, I did what any good mother would do. I backed up, got Daddy's attention and let them each give him one more huge hug before he left. It helped...a little.

The first week he was gone, I was a complete emotional wreck. I can honestly say that I let myself sink into the darkest hole I have ever entered...but overtime, things have gotten easy. I have a routine and it works like a charm. I dare say that I have mastered being a "single" Mom to my three wild children. But just when I think I have it all together, my kids yank on my heart strings and I turn into a blubbering mess.

I believe that everything happens for a reason, but in this particular case, that "reason" is yet to present itself. I want my kids to see their Daddy every single day. I want them to have breakfast with him, walk our dog with him, eat supper and talk about their day with him. I'm tired of being a "single" Mom just because our house won't sell. 

I will not give up. Loving my kids is enough to keep me going...even on the days when the oldest two are fighting, the baby is teething and someone has mysteriously peed all over the bathroom floor. I love them when they get chocolate ice cream all over their new clothes, lose their homework and "accidentally" gouge me in the eye with their little fingers. I would do anything for them. I just need to find a new family to love our house as much as we have so that we can have our family back together permanently. Seems simple enough, right?

Bring it on, buyers! My kids need their Daddy and so do I! 

Clarity Needed

I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, that every person you meet enters your life when they are supposed to...but why can't the reasons for everything be more clear?? I have never been more unclear about where I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to be doing ever before. I need some clarity!

To rent or not to rent? That is the question.

Have you ever rented out your house??

It is currently a buyer's market, to the extreme, where I live. With an aging population, more and more people are selling their homes and moving into apartments and condos, leaving many more houses on the market than there are buyers.

So what do you do? Do you sell your house at a loss or do you rent it out?

I have so many concerns about renting. The thing that plagues me most is- what if the tenants all of a sudden move out and we're stuck with a mortgage payment we can't afford?

Out of the few people I know currently renting their homes, only one is having a positive experience. Ugh.

I need advice from someone who doesn't know me personally.

Bring it on! Thank you in advance. :)