Love the "back to school" shopping!

It's only July 31st and I already want to head to the stores to buy all of my kids school supplies. I think part of it is because my daughter is starting kindergarten and I know she has been excited ever since her big brother started school, 2 years ago.

Buying school supplies also represents a new beginning to me. I was moved around, almost every year, growing up, but one thing never changed-the need for the big "back to school" shop. A new outfit, pens, pencils and a new backpack. I always loved that time with my Mom and now I get to experience it with my kids.

The only unfortunate part is the expense. You go around to the various stores, purchasing all of the necessary supplies and then on the first day of school, you have to send each child with even more money for things the teacher will be buying the class. Last year it cost me $35 for my son, but this year it will be $70 for both my son and daughter. I know it's not a lot spread out over the year, but it's a bitter pill after having just spent that much or more on everything else. You can't tell me that everyone can afford that expense...So, who pays for them?

On a happy note, my daughter picked a pink and orange jacket from Costco and a perfectly matched, and on sale, backpack from The Gap for school. She's the cutest little fashionista I've ever seen! She's nothing like me. Actually, I could stand to learn a thing or two from her.

Happy school supply shopping, everyone!

East to West

Yet another friend is considering moving out West!

It simply isn't realistic for a young family with 3 children to make a go of it in New Brunswick. We are ultimately being forced to leave our friends and extended family members behind and move across the country. Why aren't more people fighting to change this trend? Just last week, a friend drove out West for work. Another flew out just yesterday. We may be next and our friends may be close behind us.

Yes, the cost of living out West is higher, but the pay is double and the opportunities are plentiful.

Someday, New Brunswick will wake up and see that all of the under 40 population has moved out. Then what?

Why would new business want to come here if everyone's leaving? Unless some major changes take place, you will see a quickly diminished population. It is a shame that such a beautiful province is run so poorly.

Back on the Nutrition Bandwagon

Recently I have fallen off the nutrition bandwagon.

For months now, my husband and I have been talking about making a major move and along with these talks has come a tremendous amount of stress, So, what did I do? I turned to food. Whatever was easiest to make and also night snacking. I am a terrible boredom and night snacker. Then, last night, at girls' night, I got talking to my friend's husband about working in Yellowknife. Something about the idea made me snap out of my funk and get back on track! So, for dinner we had poached salmon, basmati rice, green beans and carrots.

It's funny how this one little conversation has gotten me out of my funk AND my husband has already applied for a teaching position there that he is completely qualified for. EEK! Who knows what will become of all of this, but for now, I'm happy to say that I've turned the corner back into healthy eating and I'm excited about what may be coming our way!

What are you grateful for?

Over the years, I have spent far too much time thinking about how my life would be different if I had done things differently. What if I had chosen a career over having kids in my twenties? What if I never left Halifax? What if I went to law school?

Have you ever felt jealous of those people who have known since they were 10 years old just exactly what they wanted to be when they grew up? Not only did they know, but they actually followed through and became whatever it is they wanted.

My husband knew, in grade 7, that he wanted to be a teacher. So, as an adult, he went to university and is now a French teacher. I, on the other hand, thought I would be a lawyer, or someone famous, when I was younger. I thought I'd have everything by age 27. Why do we do that to ourselves?

Half of our life's troubles are because we constantly dwell on the unfulfilled expectations we have created for ourselves. I know that I am guilty of this. Why can't we just be in the moment and be grateful for all of the good in our lives? 

Although many of the choices that I have made have caused life to be harder at times, I wouldn't change having 3 kids. I wouldn't change the varied education I have. I wouldn't change the moves that I have made. I wouldn't change the friends I've had, the relationships I've had or the man I married. So, throughout all the struggles, I have so much to be grateful for.

What are you grateful for?

Good things come to those who...

Runaways

In recent months, there have been many teens in New Brunswick who have run away from home. Luckily, to the best of my knowledge, they have all been found safe and returned home. The question I have to ask is: will they always be that lucky?

Teenagers run away when there is a conflict they can't resolve, fear resolving  or have something to hide. They see leaving as easier than coping. In some cases, it's not only an escape from a situation, but a punishment to their caregiver. Sometimes it's plain and simply a cry for help, but what if that cry goes horribly wrong?

A child who runs away puts themselves at great risk, terrifies their family and friends and also wastes the RCMP resources. Police and search and rescue teams often spend countless hours searching for these kids, when often they're just hiding out in a friend's basement.

It's the kids who don't have a "safe" place to hide that concern me most. Where are they sleeping each night and how long before their resources run out? Kids in these situations make themselves extremely vulnerable and are easily manipulated. What started off as the "easy way out" may go horribly wrong.

My heart is broken for every family that has to deal with a runaway situation. The constant worry for your child until they are returned home safely is something that no parent should ever have to deal with. Until these kids are parents themselves, they won't fully understand what they have put their loved ones through.

If your child ever runs away or goes missing, get his or her photo out into the social media world immediately. Facebook, Twitter, email-use them all. You can also visit Missing Kids Canada or The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children in the USA .

Have you taught overseas? I need your advice...please.

Dear fellow bloggers;

I need some advice.

My husband is a teacher, but there aren't any teaching positions where we live. So, we're considering making a really big move. I have talked to many friends who have taught overseas, but I would really like less biased advice from people who don't know me personally. We want to go somewhere considered "safe", somewhere that will provide airfare and accommodation, and somewhere with a decent school system, because our kids will be in kindergarten and grade 2. Ideally the pay grade would be high enough that we could also save some money while there.

We have considered Nunavut, Korea and the UK.

Any personal accounts of an experience you've had would be greatly appreciated. Places you would recommend, or not, and why?

Thank you in advance! Every comment shared is a big help!

Jackie

Thursday's Rant

To make it in New Brunswick, you either need to know someone important who can get you a good job you don't necessarily deserve or you need to be a tradesperson. Otherwise, you have two choices: 1-pack up your things and move out West or 2-stay put and live just barely above the poverty line.

I have spent weeks now looking for a day job that would allow me to work opposite shifts from my husband, so that we can avoid the $1,500 a month daycare expense for our kids. Putting them in daycare is a last resort because most jobs around here won't even pay enough to cover the expense.

I have an education, but around here, I'm lucky if it earns me more than $11 an hour. My husband has his Bachelor of Education, but there aren't any teaching jobs available because existing teachers won't retire. A teacher's pension is based on their highest paid 5 years of service, so they stay on longer to increase their pension. Not only does this affect incoming teachers, but it also means that teachers are teaching past their expiry date, which can impact negatively on the children they teach. Ugh!

It's such a frustrating situation. I am ready, willing and more than capable to work, but what's the point if my pay won't cover daycare? Why would I work to have someone else raise my kids and still not come out on top financially anyway? What a crazy system we live in!

The Universal Childcare Benefit, in Canada, is issued to each family every month and this is meant to help pay for childcare. Why does this money not go directly into the daycares so that they can lower the cost to families?? Instead, people who don't need this money and don't even require childcare are getting $100 or more every month that could be much better spent. I have to be honest and say when that money gets direct deposited into my account, it likely gets used for groceries. I'm sure most families would report the same thing.

So, for now, I remain a stay-at-home-mom, unemployed, trying hard to pay the bills and looking for someone who wants to pay me to write.

Bullying Can Start as Young as Preschool

When my son was in preschool, he experienced his first dose of bullying.

Before my son was 5, he was sweet, polite and not yet exposed to the meanness of children. He loved to play construction and blocks, but he would also play tea party with the girls. At some point during his first year at preschool, a group of little girls decided that they no longer played with the boys and were at times very cruel to my son. It broke my heart for him because he was happy to play whatever they wanted. I didn't think he would have to deal with this kind of thing until big kid school started. I was wrong.

After that situation settled, he made a group of all boy friends. He happily played with them and forgot about the girls. He didn't encounter any type of bullying the following year in preschool and nothing at all came up until kindergarten.

Within the first month or so of kindergarten, my son wore a stripped, navy and white shirt to school. Some of the kids in his class made fun of him, saying that it looked like he had worn his pajamas to school. My reaction, at the time, was to tell him that he didn't have to wear the shirt to school anymore. Looking back, I realize I was just trying to protect his feelings, but I had an opportunity to teach him an important lesson. Instead, he taught me one. "No thanks, Mommy. I want to wear the shirt again tomorrow." I have never been more proud of my incredible son than I was in that moment. He wasn't going to let those kids affect him or how he dressed.

I know my son may encounter bullying at different times over the years, but I am confident now that he will handle himself better than I could have hoped.

RIP Cory Monteith

The toxicology reports are in and the word is that Cory Monteith died of an "accidental heroin and alcohol overdose." What a sad, sad and preventable loss.

I can't help but think about his poor family and his fiance, Lea Michele. Monteith was my age, 31, and had so much life ahead of him. He was set to marry Michele in only 2 weeks time.

He was so incredibly talented and seemed to have such a bright future ahead of him. His absence on Glee won't go unnoticed. I will be very curious to see how they address his departure.

Far too many people in Hollywood die from very similar circumstances. I hope this is an eye opener for others suffering with addiction as Monteith was.

Sad, sad, sad. He will be greatly missed.

Parents Decide What Kids Eat. NOT Kids

I am constantly amazed by what "food" people will feed their children. You don't have to be a Holistic Nutritionist to know that nuggets and fries should not be staples in your diet.

This morning I over heard a conversation. The mother of a roughly 6 year old said, "He's a fussy eater. I can only get him to get nuggets, fries and Kraft Dinner." I nearly jumped out of my seat to shake some sense into this woman. He eats that way because you allow it. 

I will never for one minute pretend that my children don't eat things they shouldn't, on occasion. I would never lie and say they haven't eaten fast food or had one too many sugary treats, but I can say very confidently that my children don't live off junk and my 5 year most certainly does not dictate the menu.

Until our kids start school, we decide 100% of the time what they can and cannot eat. If your child will only eat junk, it is because that is what you have provided for them and then when they wouldn't eat the healthier options, you caved and allowed more junk. Who is the parent here?

If you are experiencing extreme eating problems with your child, it may be time to visit a Naturopath or Nutritionist to look further into what is going on. There are certainly cases where a child may have an intolerance to a food, which could be at the root of the problem. Something to consider.

Our health and eating habits as an adult are a reflection of how we ate, and were taught to eat, as children. Teach your children, while they'll still listen, the importance of eating well. When they are all grown-up, they will thank you.

Dental Coverage Rant

Every month, a large chunk of money comes off my husband's pay so that our family of 5 can have medical coverage, but if the insurance company won't pay out on claims, what's the point?

Last week, a bonding came off one of my front teeth. I was lucky enough to get an appointment with the dentist for the following morning. Before I left home, I double checked our coverage to see that the little procedure would be covered and sure enough, it was, for 90%.

So, I had my tooth fixed, paid in full upfront and the watched as the receptionist submitted my claim electronically. Usually we would see the money within 2 days. Five days later, we received an automatic deposit from the insurance company for only 25% of what the fix had cost me. They said that I would need x-rays to prove that there had been "significant tooth loss" to have any additional portion covered. No x-rays had been taken prior to the fix and it was obviously too late for photographs. What a mess.

So now, at a time when I completely can't afford this expense, I'm out $300 and change. Why do we bother with insurance?!

That is all.

Rants from one fed-up Mama

I am a reasonably smart person. I'm not fantastic at anything, but I'm good at a lot of things. I have an education: a half decent one actually. I even graduated with honours from my last endeavor, but in the province I live in, I'm hard to employ.

French isn't my first language and it is barely my second language at this point. I may be qualified in every way that matters for the jobs I apply for, but since my French is rusty, I won't get the job. 

I read through all of the job ads daily and if I'm willing to work for minimum wage with a bunch of highschool kids, maybe, just maybe I can mop floors at the local pool. I didn't spend six years in university and one year in college to mop floors. Although, there are bills to pay.

None of this even matters anyway since daycare for my three kids would be over $1,500 a month. So I can't even take the mopping job because that won't even cover daycare expense.  

We live in a system that sets us up to fail. I talk to people my age daily who are in very similar situations. Many are struggling to pay the bills and are considering moving out of province to clear up their debt and finally, at age 30+, get their lives on a better financial track. 

Moving out West or to the deep North are the trends now. With the higher wages, free staff accommodations and airfare, it's cheaper to commute across the country to work than it is to work locally. What a joke. 

It's as if there are only two choices: 1)Work 24 hours a day and have no family life or 2)Be completely broke, but have a happy family. You shouldn't have to sacrifice your home life to pay the bills. You shouldn't have to work two jobs just to cover daycare.

We live in this beautiful province, that we chose as a good place to raise our kids, but we are ultimately being forced to leave. For a province that campaigns to keep their university grads working in their province, they sure don't make it easy for us to stay.

Update on our family organic garden

Just a quick post to say that our family organic garden is doing awesome! The zucchini plants and corn are amazing. The carrots, cucumber, snow peas and lettuce seem to be coming along as well. My tomato plants aren't totally thrilled. I'll need to do a little more research on how to make them happy. The only thing that didn't make it was the basil. Again, another thing I'll have to research.

All in all, this has been a great first attempt at gardening for my family of 5. I highly recommend planting corn. They grow so tall so quickly. The kids think it's amazing!

Any tips for me? Happy gardening!

PS: This link will take you to my first post about our gardening adventure. http://jbelliveau.blogspot.ca/2013/05/our-first-family-organic-garden.html

Finally, a clean house! But not for long...

Why is it that it takes visitors or showing my house to make it spotless?

I'm always complaining that our house is a mess. Laundry needs to be folding, dishes done, toys picked up and floors swept. There never seems to be enough hours in the day to get everything done...except when we have visitors coming or we're showing our house to potential buyers.

Our house is currently on the market and hasn't been this clean and tidy since we moved in 3 years ago. The laundry is folded and put away, the dishes are washed and in the cupboards and every single last toy is in its' place. I even considered, briefly, sleeping in the tent in our backyard overnight just to maintain this perfect house for one more day.

It's amazing how trying to sell your home motivates you to do things that you've been meaning to do for months. I finally sorted through bins in the basement that we haven't even opened since we moved in. I found things I forgot we had. There is something so satisfying about a de-cluttered house. I have sold 2 van loads of toys and donated another van load. I have thrown out broken things and faded receipts. I have reclaimed my house, which was long overdue.

The real question is: how long will it take my 3 little terrors to undo all of my good work? I give it 12 hours at most before you can't tell that I scrubbed the kitchen floors, swept and vaccuumed the whole house and meticulously found places for every displaced item.

I know some people live like this all of the time. Everything's clean and in its' place, but how do they have time to do anything else? If I never played with my kids ever again, maybe we could live like that, but I choose them. I won't ever regret playing with my kids "too much".

Oh well. It was nice while it lasted. Time to play!

Life is So Uncertain

Life is so uncertain.

I was just reading about a local family, who lost their husband and father last year. He was only 40 years old. He was in a car accident and died on the scene. No one in their family woke up that day thinking that it would be the last moments they spent with him. Now his wife is left to raise their 2 children alone and the kids have to grow up without their Daddy. Really puts things into perspective, doesn't it?

Everyday of life is a gift. Some days are harder than others, but never wish time away. Don't wish a day away. Don't count down. Live in the moment because life is too short to waste time. Never go to sleep angry and if there is something you need to say, say it. Don't wait until tomorrow.

I can't help but think about the 36 year old mother who died in Moncton recently, as a result of a drunk driver hitting her car. The driver who caused her death made a choice to drink and drive and now 2 children are without their Mommy and a husband is aching for his wife. An entire school is missing their teacher. Someone made one decision that impacted the lives of hundreds of people.

Life is fragile. Life is short. Live it to the fullest at every age and stage in your life. Dream big and make your dreams your reality. Don't regret. Don't wonder, "what if?" DO! Be a doer!

I didn't know I would write this tonight. I didn't set out to write something deep and profound. I am really writing this as a reminder to myself to not get so down when we hit a rough patch in life. We're healthy, we have a roof over our heads, food on our plates and we're together. What more could a girl ask for?

Be thankful.

My Daughter Falls Out of Bed...a lot

Does anyone have a child who falls out of their "big kid bed" almost every night?

We moved our son into his big bed when he was only 18 months old. He, of course, had a bed rail. At some point he decided, or we decided, he no longer needed it. He fell out of bed a lot and just couldn't seem to adjust...so back up went the bed rail. He was 5 before it finally came off for good. He is now 7 years old and still, on rare occasion, falls out.

Now I have a 5 year old daughter. She has had her rail off for months now, but recently started falling out again. I tried the rolled up towels under her fitted sheet, along the edge, but they slip down and then she rolls out anyway. Someone suggested a pool noodle. Has anyone tried this?

I'm so tired of hearing her thud out of bed and I know she is certainly fed up. She even asked for her old bed rail back. Poor girlie. So back up went her bed rail.

How can a child sleep so soundly that they would fall out of bed?? I know we as parents certainly don't sleep that soundly.

What do you do to keep your kids safe in bed?

I Am Grateful to be a Nova Scotian

I am grateful to be a Nova Scotian. 

I was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia and spent the first few years of my life there, with summers in Shediac, New Brunswick. I was then moved around to Toronto, New Jersey, and Calgary. Although each stop had it's own beauty, nothing ever came close to feeling like home the way the Maritimes did. There is something born into a Maritimer, like an invisible string, that keeps us attached to the Maritimes even when we're not here. Something that calls each and every one of us back...eventually. 

As an adult, now living in New Brunswick, it feels familiar, from my life long summers here, but there is something missing. I feel Nova Scotia calling my name and it is only a matter of time before I move back there yet again.

There is something so special about Nova Scotia. Something that cannot be summed up in simply one word. The people, scenery, music and spirit are among the many reasons why Nova Scotia is my true home. What I consider to be common courtesies are actually common there. People naturally hold the door for you, say hi in passing, smile at strangers, and say "please" and "thank-you". People go out of their way for you and welcome you with opened arms to their breath taking province. Everyone is welcome in Nova Scotia.

Seven years ago, my husband and I moved to New Brunswick because real estate was affordable here and we were about to welcome our son into the world. It was the right thing at the time, and has been a great experience in many ways.

So, thank you New Brunswick for all of the things you have given us. You will always have a special place in my heart, since my 3 children were born here. I promise to visit every summer, as I always have.

Nova Scotia, we're coming home!