To the Extra Special People in my Life

Just a really quick thought...

My entire life, I have always felt that I didn't quite fit in. I've always had friends and never felt lonely or alone...but always outside of the circle just a little bit. There are few people in my life who I feel really accept me for who I am and with all of my crazy quirks...especially my extremely straight forward way of dealing with people. So, this post is for those few extra special people in my life. If you know me well, you know exactly who you are. We can laugh at ourselves together, share our deepest secrets and know with 100% certainty that there is no judgement. I am incredibly grateful to have you in my life.

I know that I am difficult. I know that I speak the truth to a fault. I know I think I'm funny, even when I'm not, but you love me anyway. So, thank you.

If you have even one person in your life that you feel this way about, consider yourself very blessed. These kind of friends are hard to come by. So, if you happen upon one, don't let them go!

Families Are All Different

I wrote the following, with some editing by Suzanne Belliveau, in hopes of having it published as a children's picture book. It still needs some work. I feel very strongly that children need to be educated about all of the different types of families in society and not just to "tolerate" them, but to accept and embrace them all.

Families Are All Different

Families are all different

As you can plainly see

One Mommy or two Daddies

Who makes up your family?

                

I have lots of different people

On my family tree

I have a Daddy and a Mommy

Two sisters and then there’s me

I even have five grandparents

They go by different names

Nana, Grandpa, Grandma, Grammy

 I love them all the same.

I also have 5 cousins

Plus 6 Uncles and 3 Aunts

They may not live nearby me

But they visit every chance

There are many different people

Who can take good care of you

Two Mommies or one Daddy

And Foster Families too

Sometimes there are step-parents

Or step-sisters and step-brothers

They are special family members

Who grow to love each other

There are also half siblings

Half -sisters or half-brothers

Where one parent is shared between you

Either the father or the mother

Sometimes there are special people

Who are on your family tree

That may not be related

But they’re very important indeed

All of my friends’ families

Are made up in different ways

Some of my friends spend time

With each parent on different days

Other friends were adopted

From countries far away

Their parents couldn’t have babies

So they chose them special one day

Families don’t always look related

Sometimes not at all

Maybe you’re 6 foot 2

And your brother’s 5 foot small

Maybe you have brown hair

And your sisters are all blond

But don’t worry about your hair colour

It’s love that makes you bond

Love is what makes a family

Come together and be strong

As long as you’ve got love

No combination can be wrong

So next time you see a family

And think, “They look different than me”,

Remember: Families are all different

As you can plainly see

Are you where you dreamed you would be?

Are you living the life you grew up dreaming about? I know I'm not.

When I was in grade 12, everyone in my life told me that I would be an amazing lawyer. I was always good at debates and excelled at school presentations and networking, even at a young age. It got to the point where I stopped wondering what I would be as an adult and just went forward with plans to be a lawyer. 

When it actually came time to apply to universities, I felt completely lost and not really ready for that chapter of my life. So, instead of going to "real" university, I took a two year french immersion course at the Universite Ste. Anne's in Churchpoint, NS. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made, both because
I learned french and I met my husband there.

After the two years passed, I still didn't feel ready for that next step. So, I traveled in Europe with friends for four months and then finally felt ready for the next big step. It was already September and I hadn't even applied to any schools. Luckily my Dad knew some people and got me in. It was September 11, 2001. What a day to start university. I remember walking by one of the lecture halls and seeing the second airplane fly into the tower. What a day.

The next two and a half years flew by. I did a Bachelor of Arts in French and was able to transfer many credits from the immersion program I had taken. At some point during those couple of years, I decided it was finally time to take the LSATs. I don't remember exactly when I took them, but I remember the experience like it was yesterday. I knew some of the other students writing it. Those people have since become great lawyers. What I took from the experience was that being a lawyer had never been my dream, but my Dad's unfulfilled dream and simply what everyone else thought I should be doing. I knew I wanted a family, not a 24/7 career.

After that, I decided to take Public Relations. This was the more obvious fit for me. I again applied late, but this time on my own doing, got in no problem. I was so excited about the program and did really well in it, but then came my first work placement. I got placed with a tourism office that didn't specifically have PR work. I still to this day don't know why they took on PR students. I mostly just stuffed media packages there and did some website editing. Towards the end of my time there, I worked briefly in the Minister of Tourism's office. I got to write there and was really appreciated. That was a great experience, but too short lived. Once school started up again, I felt depleted.  When I went back to class and saw the enthusiasm the other students had, I felt out of place. I felt like I no longer belonged there. I felt very emotional and dropped out. Little did I know I was also pregnant with my son, now 7 years old.

So, my husband and I moved to New Brunswick, because of family and also more affordable real estate and have been living here ever since. 

I took Holistic Nutrition last year and loved it. I graduated with honours and as co-validictorian. I certainly plan on using that knowledge for something wonderful, but right now I'm way too busy with my 7, 5 and 8 month old to even process that thought.

I wouldn't change a thing about my family, but I sure would like to have the whole career thing figured out. I would love for my husband to have a teaching contract and not have to think about making bill payments on time and second guessing whether or not to buy myself that shirt or those shoes. Someday. For now, I'm raising some pretty great kids and I know I have so much to be thankful for.I have friends with great careers and more money than they know what to do with, but they would trade places with me in a second. Money cannot buy you happiness.

So, to make an incredibly long story short, I thought I would be a successful, rich lawyer at 31 years of age, but instead, I'm an unemployed, stay at home Mom of 3. Who would have guessed?

One Proud Mama

Yesterday, at Canada's Wonderland, my kids made me incredibly proud, but I realized just exactly how fast they are growing up.

My daughter is turning 5 this Friday and since she has a big brother, who is 7, she constantly wants to seem older and brave like him. She's always asking me things like, "What would Jonah do?" or "Can I do that when I'm Jonah's age?" It's sweet that she looks up to him like that, but makes me a little sad that she wants to grow up so quickly. She still seems like my baby girl so much of the time.

At Wonderland, Jonah was all geared up for the "grown-up" rides, because he finally meets the height requirements, but Lyla, of course, did not. So she gladly went on all of the awesome kid-friendly rides and made every moment count. While on a tugboat ride, that zipped around the "rough waters", she threw her arms up and screamed "weeeeee", as if she were on the biggest roller coaster of all. On the swings that go around in circles, she threw her arms up again and yelled, "Mommy, I'm being so brave!" That one little sentence brought a proud tear to my eye. Geez, I love that kid!

Jonah really surprised me too. He was clearly excited to be tall enough for every ride and kept eyeing all of the roller coasters, except the "loop de loop" ones, he told me. So, my brother and my husband took him. I expected him to be shaken up and over the whole idea after the first run. Was I ever wrong. He loved every single second and stayed on for a second ride. He's an extremely cautious child so much of the time. I know I've made him this way and sometimes, I think, to a fault. So, yesterday was a big deal...for both my kids.

Towards the end of the day, we walked past one last roller coaster and Lyla was actually just tall enough to go on. She hesitated but finally ran off to join the group on the final ride. She was having another brave moment. She had to close her eyes through the dark tunnel, but was extremely proud to go on the big ride like her big brother.

By this point, it was really time to go, but we let the kids play one final game. My son wanted to win a puppy dog, but didn't get enough points, so his choices were a giraffe or monkey. Instead of getting upset, he chose the giraffe and gave it to his baby sister, because she "needed a souvenir too". He wanted to win me something as well, but there wasn't enough time. He looked so upset, but I assured him that seeing him so happy was enough for me. Yet another proud mama moment.

Miss Olivia, my baby girl, will have to go there when she's older. She spent the day napping, but now I know she has two really brave, incredible siblings to show her the ropes.

We can learn a lot from children. They are often more brave, adventurous and giving than we are as adults. Although I'm a little sad that they're growing up way too fast, I'm incredibly proud to be their Mama.

Small Town Living vs The Big City

From day to day, we exist within a safety and comfort zone that we have created for ourselves over time. The friends we've made, the routes we drive, the stores we shop at, they all make up what we consider "safe" places to be for both ourselves and our family. This became overwhelming clear to me after a 4 day visit to Toronto.

First, let me start by saying that I used to be a big city girl, having lived in Toronto for years, but when I moved to the Maritimes, that all changed. I now live in a small town, outside of a reasonably small city. I know I'm not immune to the dangers of the world here, but most of the time, I consider it a safe place to live.

 

When in Toronto, 1 of 2.5 million people out and about, I encountered a few too many crazies for my liking. The first was on a streetcar. A man started yelling profanities at a woman because she bumped into him, or something equally as innocent, and he completely overreacted. He had zero logic in his words and kept suggesting that she call the police on him. Even just on my own this would have upset me, but it was in front of my 3 kids, who have very little exposure to the world. Next came the man, whose hands appeared to be covered in feces, who then proceeded to wipe them on the wall of a building. What is wrong with people?! And of course, there were many homeless people, across the city, sleeping and begging  for change on the street's corners. It is safe to say that Toronto is nothing like the Maritimes.

All of this said, there is so much to see and do in a big city like Toronto. From the BlueJays, amazing restaurants, theatre, shopping, Canada's Wonderland and so much more. We could have spent weeks there just to fit in all of the things we would have liked to see and do, but I wouldn't trade the Maritimes for big city life. 

I may walk at a slower clip than Torontonians and maybe I don't dress as nicely, but I hold the door for the person behind me and I'm never so rushed that I can't be polite.  I don't have to depend on 3 different modes of transportation to get around and I don't have to drive in constant traffic or swerve around the many street cars and millions of pedestrians. I like my life.

Don't get me wrong, Toronto is incredible. Our trip there, from beginning to end was really amazing. There are no words to express how grateful I am for the opportunity, but I am also grateful to be home safe.

It's Ok to not ALWAYS have your "crap" together

A friend reminded me today that it's ok to not always have my "crap together". This is something I needed to hear.

I am a person who can't stand a messy, disorganized house. Yet I live in one everyday. I hate seeing piles of unfolded laundry, but I am surrounded by them. Dirty dishes all over my counter drive me nuts, yet there they are. This is the life of a Mom with 3 kids.

After chauffeuring my kids all day, cooking for them, bathing them, packing next day's lunch and everything else involved, the last thing I have time to do, or want to do, is fold 5 people's laundry. My eyes are almost closed, but the house could really use a quick Swiffer and if I was really on top of things, I'd change the sheets that are truthfully a good week overdue.

But wait a minute! My kids are happy and healthy. On top of that, I've managed to maintain a small amount of sanity through all of the chaos. I think I'm doing ok.

We, as Moms especially, are WAY too hard on ourselves. We want to be the best Mom, the best wife and seem "together" all of the time, but you know what? To your children, you are the best Mom and they wouldn't replace you for anything. Your husband is in awe of how you keep it all together after a long day of crazy children and a puppy running circles around you as you make dinner. They love you just exactly how you are and wouldn't change a hair on your head.

So what if you didn't do dishes today. Who cares if you take your next outfit out of the laundry bin instead of off a hanger. I promise you that even the most put together Mom on the playground has the same struggles as you do, she just hides it better. For all you know, her designer jacket was stuffed under her bed until she put it on today and her hair is in an up-do because she didn't shower this morning. Don't be deceived by these Moms, because they are just like you.

Next time you have to choose between dishes and a moment to relax, RELAX! You will be a better Mom to your kids because you took time for you! Don't forget that before you had kids, you had needs and still do. Don't be afraid to take time for you!

Healthy Kids=Healthier Future

The New Brunswick school system has a health initiative that encourages healthy snacks and lunches for kids. They have the teachers enforce it to a degree, but really only by giving a canned response they are told to use. So, for example, if I were to call my son's teacher and ask if I could bring in cupcakes, her response would be, "We encourage healthy snacks in the classroom", but if I were to then arrive with cupcakes, they would be welcomed.

This so-called health initiative clearly doesn't apply to their volunteers, as they are fed things like pizza, chips and pop at the various events held throughout the year. The volunteers eat in a room where the children purchase milk at lunchtime. Isn't this setting a bad example for them?

The absolute icing on the cake is the hot lunch program. This program, although helpful to parents, is the furthest thing from healthy. Twice a week, lunches are offered and consist of Greco pizza, a half piece of fruit and milk or Burger King, half piece of fruit or milk.  Why not get a contract with a local grocery store and do up snack packs of fruit, veggies, cheese and crackers? Or even veggie Subs from Subway?

As for why my son's school has chosen the previously mentioned businesses for hot lunches, I'm not exactly sure, but I would bet that it's because they offer the lowest price. This makes me sad. I would gladly spend an extra dollar on lunch for my kids if it meant they were getting something real and healthier. Am I alone on this?

Another very upsetting fact is that many kids can't even recognize certain fruits and vegetables in their true, unprocessed form. This next generation is so disconnected from the food they are putting into their bodies. A  chicken nugget is just a kind of "food", not actually something that came from a living creature.

Healthy living has to be taught and enforced in school. Our kids spend more awake hours with their teachers than with their families. Children, especially at a young age, believe what their teachers say to be the gospel truth. So, why not use this for good and have our teachers teach and enforce nutrition? Instead of a brief unit that focuses on the highly flawed Canada Food guide, incorporate healthy living into everyday of school. Many children will not learn about healthy living at home, but imagine how many children can be reached by teaching it in school!

Taking proper care of our children is an investment in their future, and in ours. It's never too late to start eating right, but the earlier you start the better.

The only thing standing in your way is YOU!

Have you ever had a really great idea, but then not followed through with it? If you answered no to this question, I'm guessing you're not being completely honest with yourself.

We have all had ideas, at one point or another, that we didn't follow through on...and should have. The first time this really happened to me was when my sister and I wanted to invent a baby carrier that could be worn at the beach, made of neoprene. It wasn't even 6 months later that Body Glove came out with such a product. I'm sure my husband could tell you all kinds of examples where similar things have happened to me. I'm always coming up with something.

After I organized the Santa Gift Shop in December of last year, with only 2 weeks to pull it off, I realized how much I love to plan. So, I talked to a couple of people about having a children's tea party and/or children's ball at a local venue. You snooze you lose I guess, because now someone else is doing it.

Everyday a million different thoughts go through our heads and sometimes, if we're lucky, something really genius pops up. We convince ourselves that these ideas are unrealistic and assume the idea would tank before even trying.

So, I challenge you to follow through! Have a great idea and do something about it! I know I plan on great things in the not so distant future!

Helicopter Mom

Last summer, an Uncle of mine referred to me as a "helicopter" Mom. At the time, I had no idea what this term meant. (A helicopter parent is someone who hovers over their kids.) I disagreed with him at the time and was honestly pretty offended. Now, looking back, I take it as a compliment.

Being a "helicopter" Mom means to me that I am present in my children's lives. I watch out for them and try my best to keep them safe. I don't attach myself to them with handcuffs and follow them around the playground, but I keep an eye on them. Even when they're not with me, I catch myself double checking in the review mirror for them, before reminding myself they're at school or home with Daddy. I put my kids and their safety first.

All of this said, my kid's fight their own battles. They make mistakes and learn from them. They fall off the monkey bars and get back up. My kids are confident, well-adjusted, friendly and polite. They do crazy things like all kids do, but at the end of the day, I am an incredibly proud Mom, who would do anything for her kids.

There will come a time when I can't be there for them, but when that day comes, I will be able to look back and know that I instilled all of the good in them that I could. I will know that I kept them safe and taught them how to keep themselves safe. I will never regret being a "helicopter" Mom.

Are YOU a "helicopter" Mom?