Thursday's Rant

Have you ever had a moment, or many moments, when you thought, "This isn't my life" or "How did I end up here?" I've been stuck on that moment for three straight months now.

My husband moved out of province for work, since there wasn't anything here in his field. This is a very common occurrence nowadays in the Maritime provinces. I stayed behind, with our three young children, to try and sell our house, during a borderline market crash. We can no longer tough out the expense of our mortgage and his rent, so now our house is advertised "for rent". I would like to think this is a decent option, although no one who has applied thus far was truly a candidate.

I have looked into working, but for the jobs that I am qualified for, I wouldn't make enough to even pay the daycare expense for my kids. On top of that, there are limited spaces in the area for one year olds...so really, I would have had to have her on a waiting list months ago. What a mess.

It feels like society sets us up to fail financially, forcing us into more and more debt. My generation is plagued with student loan payments that are, in many cases, as big as a mortgage payment. We all have lines of credit, overdraft and credit cards...and many of us don't use them for "fun" things, we use them to pay the bills and buy our family's groceries.

I'm a decent person, raising three incredible kids and organizing charitable events in my "spare" time, but none of this matters to the bank. None of this matters to the power company, phone company, etc. Being a good person doesn't pay the bills.

So this year, there won't be any Christmas gifts, except for my kids. There won't be an annual family picture. There won't be anything "extra"...but how can I even complain about the "extras" in life when there are horrific natural disasters that seem to be happening all to frequently now? How can I complain when there is war and famine? How can I complain when at the end of the day, I have three great and healthy kids and a roof over our heads? Life is too short and too fragile to complain so much.

I'm on a mission to turn things around!! One step at a time...