Thursday, June 20, 2013

Are you where you dreamed you would be?

Are you living the life you grew up dreaming about? I know I'm not.

When I was in grade 12, everyone in my life told me that I would be an amazing lawyer. I was always good at debates and excelled at school presentations and networking, even at a young age. It got to the point where I stopped wondering what I would be as an adult and just went forward with plans to be a lawyer. 

When it actually came time to apply to universities, I felt completely lost and not really ready for that chapter of my life. So, instead of going to "real" university, I took a two year french immersion course at the Universite Ste. Anne's in Churchpoint, NS. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made, both because
I learned french and I met my husband there.

After the two years passed, I still didn't feel ready for that next step. So, I traveled in Europe with friends for four months and then finally felt ready for the next big step. It was already September and I hadn't even applied to any schools. Luckily my Dad knew some people and got me in. It was September 11, 2001. What a day to start university. I remember walking by one of the lecture halls and seeing the second airplane fly into the tower. What a day.

The next two and a half years flew by. I did a Bachelor of Arts in French and was able to transfer many credits from the immersion program I had taken. At some point during those couple of years, I decided it was finally time to take the LSATs. I don't remember exactly when I took them, but I remember the experience like it was yesterday. I knew some of the other students writing it. Those people have since become great lawyers. What I took from the experience was that being a lawyer had never been my dream, but my Dad's unfulfilled dream and simply what everyone else thought I should be doing. I knew I wanted a family, not a 24/7 career.

After that, I decided to take Public Relations. This was the more obvious fit for me. I again applied late, but this time on my own doing, got in no problem. I was so excited about the program and did really well in it, but then came my first work placement. I got placed with a tourism office that didn't specifically have PR work. I still to this day don't know why they took on PR students. I mostly just stuffed media packages there and did some website editing. Towards the end of my time there, I worked briefly in the Minister of Tourism's office. I got to write there and was really appreciated. That was a great experience, but too short lived. Once school started up again, I felt depleted.  When I went back to class and saw the enthusiasm the other students had, I felt out of place. I felt like I no longer belonged there. I felt very emotional and dropped out. Little did I know I was also pregnant with my son, now 7 years old.

So, my husband and I moved to New Brunswick, because of family and also more affordable real estate and have been living here ever since. 

I took Holistic Nutrition last year and loved it. I graduated with honours and as co-validictorian. I certainly plan on using that knowledge for something wonderful, but right now I'm way too busy with my 7, 5 and 8 month old to even process that thought.

I wouldn't change a thing about my family, but I sure would like to have the whole career thing figured out. I would love for my husband to have a teaching contract and not have to think about making bill payments on time and second guessing whether or not to buy myself that shirt or those shoes. Someday. For now, I'm raising some pretty great kids and I know I have so much to be thankful for.I have friends with great careers and more money than they know what to do with, but they would trade places with me in a second. Money cannot buy you happiness.

So, to make an incredibly long story short, I thought I would be a successful, rich lawyer at 31 years of age, but instead, I'm an unemployed, stay at home Mom of 3. Who would have guessed?

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